Fact, not Fiction

'lollipop'
is the longest word typed with your right hand.
(Bet you tried this out mentally, didn't you?)


No word in the English language rhymes with
month, orange, silver, or purple.




'Dreamt' is the only English word that ends in the letters 'mt'.
(Are you doubting this?)



Our eyes are always the same size from birth,

but our nose and ears '  


never stop growing.



The sentence:
'The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog'
uses every letter of the alphabet.
(Now, you KNOW you're going to try this out for accuracy, right?




The words 'racecar,'
'kayak'
and 'level'
are the same whether they are read
left to right or right to left (palindromes).
(Yep, I knew you were going to 'do' this one.)



There are only four words in the English language which end in 'dous':
tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous.
(You're not doubting this, are you?)



There are two words in the English language that have all five vowels

in order: 'abstemious' and 'facetious.' (Yes, admit it, you are going to say, a e l o u)

TYPEWRITER is the longest word
that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard.
(All you typists are going to test this out)



A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.



A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds..
(Some days that's about what my memory span is.)



A 'jiffy' is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second.



A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.



A snail can sleep for three years.
(I know some people that could do this too.!)




Almonds are a member of the peach family.



An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
(I know some people like that also)




Babies are born without kneecaps.
They don't appear until the child reaches 2 to 6 years of age.

February 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon.






In the last 4,000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.





If the population of China walked past you, 8 abreast,
the line would never end because of the rate of reproduction.




Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors





Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite!






Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.



The average person's left hand does 56% of the typing.





The cruise liner, QE 2

moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel that it burns.




The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube

and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket.
(Good thing he did that.)




The winter of 1932 was so cold that Niagara Falls


froze completely solid.




There are more chickens than people in the world.




Winston Churchill

was born in a ladies' room during a dance.




Women blink nearly twice as much as men.




Now you know more than you did before!!

Yoga and Drinking

Research confirms that drinking gives you the same benefits yoga does !!!
 

 Savasana
Position of total relaxation.  

Balasana
Position that brings the sensation of peace and calm.  

Setu Bandha Sarvangasana
This position calms the brain and heals tired legs.

Marjayasana
Position stimulates the midirift area and the spinal comumn.  

Halasana
Excelent for back pain and imsomnia.  

Dolphin
Excelent for the shoulder area, thorax, legs, and arms.  

Salambhasana
Great excersice to stimulate the lumbar area, legs, and arms.

Ananda Balasana
This position is great for masaging the hip area.

Malasana
This position, for ankles and back muscles.

 

So, lets start drinking ..............

25 Passive Aggressive Office Kitchen Notes

25 Passive Aggressive Office Kitchen Notes

40 Years Later: The 7 Children In 'The Sound of Music'

40 Years Later: The 7 Children In 'The Sound of Music'

 

'The Sound of Music' won the Academy Award for Best Picture in 1965 and is one of the most popular musicals ever produced.

Remember the 7 children of the Von Trapp family?



They had a reunion after 40 years 
and all looked healthy and amazingly well... 








It wouldn't be funny if it weren't true... Julie Andrews turned 69 and to commemorate her 69th birthday on October 1, the actress/vocalist made a special appearance at Manhattan 's Radio City Music Hall for the benefit of the AARP..  One of the musical numbers she performed was "My Favourite Things" from the legendary movie "The Sound Of Music."

Here are the actual lyrics she used:

Maalox and nose drops and needles for knitting,
Walkers and handrails and new dental fittings,
Bundles of magazines tied up in strings,
These are a few of my favourite things.
Cadillac's and cataracts, and hearing aids and glasses,
Polident and Fixodent and false teeth in glasses,
Pacemakers, golf carts and porches with swings,
These are a few of my favourite things..
When the pipes leak, When the bones creak,
When the knees go bad,
I simply remember my favourite things,
And then I don't feel so bad.
Hot tea and crumpets and corn pads for bunions,
No spicy hot food or food cooked with onions,
Bathrobes and heating pads and hot meals they bring,
These are a few of my favourite things.
Back pains, confused brains, and no need for sinnin',
Thin bones and fractures and hair that is thinnin',
And we won't mention our short, shrunken frames,
When we remember our favourite things.
When the joints ache, When the hips break,
When the eyes grow dim,
Then I remember the great life I've had,
And then I don't feel so bad.

Ms. Andrews received a standing ovation from the crowd that lasted over four minutes and repeated encores.  Please share Ms. Andrews' clever wit and humour with others who would appreciate it.  

You Gotta Love This Lawyer!

YOU GOTTA LOVE THIS LAWYER !!!

A New Orleans lawyer sought a Federal Housing Authority (FHA) loan for a client who lost his house in Hurricane Katrina and wanted to rebuild. He was told the loan would be granted if he could prove satisfactory title to the parcel of property being offered as collateral. The title to the property dated back to 1803, which took the Lawyer three months to track down.

After sending the information to the FHA, he received the following reply.

(Actual letter):
"Upon review of your letter adjoining your client's loan application, we note that the request is supported by an Abstract of Title. While we compliment the able manner in which you have prepared and presented the application, we must point out that you have only cleared title to the proposed collateral property back to 1803. Before final approval can be accorded, it will be necessary to clear the title back to its origin."

Annoyed, the lawyer responded as follows.

"Your letter regarding title in Case No. 189156 has been received. I note that you wish to have title extended further than the 194 years covered by the present application. I was unaware that any educated person in this country, particularly those working in the property area, would not know that Louisiana was purchased, by the U.S. , from France in 1803, the year of origin identified in our application.

For the edification of uninformed FHA bureaucrats, the title to the land prior to U.S.ownership was obtained from France , which had acquired it by Right of Conquest from Spain . The land came into the possession of Spain by Right of Discovery made in the year 1492 by a sea captain named Christopher Columbus, who had been granted the privilege of seeking a new route to India by the Spanish monarch, Isabella.

The good queen, Isabella, being a pious woman and almost as careful about titles as the FHA, took the precaution of securing the blessing of the Pope before she sold her jewels to finance Columbus ' expedition. Now the Pope, as I'm sure you may know, is the emissary of Jesus Christ, the Son of God, and God, it is commonly accepted, created this world.

Therefore, I believe it is safe to presume that God also made that part of the world called Louisiana . God, therefore, would be the owner of origin and His origins date back to before the beginning of time, the world as we know it AND the FHA. I hope you find God's original claim to be satisfactory. Now, may we have our damn loan?"

He got the loan.

Yaya Jokes

> 1. Yaya buys food at McDo. > Crew: "Dito niyo na po ba kakainin?"
> Yaya: "Puwede sa table?"
> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
> 2. Kid: "Yaya look, boats!"
> Yaya: "Dows are not boats, dey're yachts."
> Kid: "Yaya, spell yachts?"
> Yaya: "Yor rayt, dey are boats."
> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
> 3. Woman carrying sick baby enters doctor's office.
> Doc: "Bottlefed?"
> Woman: " Breastfed po."
> (Doctors squeezes woman's breasts repeatedly)
> Doc: "Ayan ang problema, wala kang gatas, eh."
> Woman: "Yaya lang po ako doc! Yaya!"
> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
> 4. The eggs that yaya bought turned out to be rotten.
> She stormed back to the grocery and told the vendor:
> "Manong, ang baho ng itlog niyo!"
> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
> 5. My mom asked our yaya to buy Inquirer and Star.
> Our yaya came back and said: "Ma'am, wala pong Inquirer
> kaya bumili nalang po ako ng dalawang Star!"
> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
> 6. Yaya: "Huhuhu?"
> Ate: "O, bakit ka umiiyak?"
> Yaya: "Kasi ate ang dami kong pimples!"
> Ate: "Eh bakit ka ba tinitighiyawat? "
> Yaya: "Kasi po di ako makatulog sa gabi."
> Ate: "O, bakit ka di makatulog?"
> Yaya: "Kasi po may pinoproblema ako?"
> Ate: "Ano naman ang pinoproblema mo?"
> Yaya: "Kasi ate ang dami kong pimples!"
> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
> 7. (Earlier) Mom: "Yaya, lagay mo yung pesto sa ref!"
> (Later) Son: "Yaya, nakita mo PS2 ko?"
> Yaya: "Nasa ref, pinalagay ng mama mo!"
> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
> 8. Just now my maid burned a hole in my uniform.
> I angrily asked her, "Paano mo naman nasunog to?"
> She answered: "Secret!"
> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
> 9. After watching a movie, our yaya blurted out :
> "Ang pangit naman, happy ending!"
> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
> 10. Sir: "Yaya, gawa mo ko ng kape. Yung decaf ha!"
> Yaya: "Siyempre naman, alangan namang de-baso!"
> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
> 11. Mom: "Yaya, magluto ka na pag-alis ko ha!"
> Yaya: "Ano po lulutuin ko?"
> Mom: "It's up to you."
> (During dinner) Mom: "Yaya, bakit ketsup at tuyo ang ulam?"
> Yaya: "Diba nung tinanong ko kayo kung anong lulutuin ko,
> sabi niyo, 'kitsup tuyo'!"
> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
> 12. Our neighbor's yaya: "Junjun, chew your mouth!"
> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
> 13. Our yaya sa sari-sari store: "Miss isang Coke in can
> at isang Sprite na Coke in can?"
> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
> 14. SIR: "Inday, si sir mo to, nabangga kotse ko & I need cash!"
> INDAY: "Aru, dugo-dugo gang ka no?"
> SIR: "Gaga! Si sir mo talaga to!"
> INDAY: "Gago ka rin! Si sir ang tawag sa kin?kapkeyk? "
> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
> 15. I once asked my yaya where the Netherlands is located.
> She answered: "Diba dun nakatira si Peter Pan?"
> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
> 16. "O yaya, bakit ka umiiyak?"
> Yaya: "Ati, sabi kasi ng duktor, tatanggalan ako ng butlig!"
> Ate: "Eh yun lang pala eh! Bakit ka umiiyak?"
> Yaya: "Buti kung one lig lang, eh kung butlig, wala na kong ligs!"
> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
> 17. We saw our yaya staring intently at the orange juice bottle.
> Sabi namin: "Yaya, anong ginagawa mo?"
> Yaya: "Shhh! Nakalagay sa bote, 'concentrate' ?"
> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
> 18. Neighbor's yaya telling the dog to climb down the stairs:
> "Down to earth! Down to earth!"
> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
> 19. My mom was going to buy our yaya a transistor radio.
> Before my mom left the house, our yaya said,
> "Ma'am, ang kunin niyo yung Ilokano ang salita ha!"
> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
> 20. We paid for the tuition fee of our yaya's son.
> So one day I was reviewing him: "The Earth is the 3rd planet from
> the sun.
> Ano ang katabi ng Mercury?" His mom, our yaya, answered:
> "Parang Watson's yata?"
> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
> 21. Sir: "Yaya, natanggal mo yung mantsa sa barong ko?"
> Yaya: "Opo! Tanggal na tanggal!"
> Sir: "Good! Anong pinang-tanggal mo?"
> Yaya: "Gunting, kuya! Gunting!"
> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
> 22. Yaya to tricycle driver: "Magkano sa City Hall?"
> Driver: "Ikaw lang?" Yaya: "Ay bakit, hindi ka sasama?"
> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
> 23. (Si Kuya pumasok sa kuwarto ni Yaya)
> Kuya: "Yaya?"
> Yaya: "Koya, wag po! Wag Pooooo!"
> Kuya: "Gaga! Uutusan lang kita!"
> Yaya: "Si Koya naman?nagsa- suggest lang?"
> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
> 24. Kid: "Yaya, spell orange?"
> Yaya: "Depende. Yung kulay o yung prutas?"
> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
> 25. Midget Yaya who was newly hired:
> "Suwerte po kayo, ako ang napili niyo.
> At least kung maibagsak ko si baby, mababa lang!"
> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
> 26. Yaya to my brother: "Nag tothbrush ka na ng ipin?"
> Bro: "Siyempre, alangan namang mag toothbrush ako ng kilikili!"
> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
> 27. (after being scolded for breaking her promises):
> "Ma'am, hindi na po ako mangangako ulit?promise! "
> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
> 28. We had a yaya who claimed she was being courted by a kapre
> in her province and wanted to take her to his kingdom.
> Her reason for turning down the offer to be his queen?
> "Kapre yun ma'am, malaki ang kwan nun! Wag na uy!"
> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
> 29. AMO: "Bakit namatay ang aso?"
> MAID: "Pinaliguan ko po ng laundry soap."
> AMO: "Nakamamatay ba yun?"
> MAID: "Ewan ko nga po eh, pag-off ko ng washing machine patay na."
> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
> 30. Yaya picking up the phone saying: " Hilo ?"
> We noticed that she was holding the handset ng baligtad.
> We told her, "Yaya, baliktad!"
> Then Yaya said: "Lohi?"
> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
> 31. Amo: Yaya use COOLING PLACE in a sentence.
> Yaya: Sir! viry easy! iksample nagring yung phone,
> (ring, ring, ring,) Yaya answered, " HILO , WHO'S COOLING PLACE?"

Top 10 Reasons Why There Couldn't Be a Filipino-American US President

Top 10 Reasons Why There Couldn't Be a Filipino-American US President
By David Letterman

10. The White House is not big enough for in-laws and extended relatives.

9. There are not enough parking spaces at the White House for 2 Honda Civics, 2 Toyota Land Cruisers, 3 Toyota Corollas, a Mercedes Benz, a BMW , and an MPV (My Pinoy Van)

8. Dignitaries generally are intimidated by eating with their fingers at State dinners.

7. There are too many dining rooms in the White House - where will they put the picture of the Last Supper?

6. The White House walls are not big enough to hold a pair of giant wooden spoon and fork

5. Secret Service staff won't respond to 'psst... psst' or hoy.hoyhoy

4. Secret Service staff will not be comfortable driving the presidential car with a Holy Rosary hanging on the rear view mirror, or the statue of the Santo Nino on the dashboard.

3. No budget allocation to purchase a Karaoke music-machine for every room in the White House.

2. State dinners do not allow 'Take Home'.

AND THE NUMBER 1 REASON WHY THERE COULDN'T BE A FILIPINO-AMERICAN U.S. PRESIDENT IS...

1. Air Force One does not allow overweight Balikbayan boxes!