Yaya Jokes

> 1. Yaya buys food at McDo. > Crew: "Dito niyo na po ba kakainin?"
> Yaya: "Puwede sa table?"
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> 2. Kid: "Yaya look, boats!"
> Yaya: "Dows are not boats, dey're yachts."
> Kid: "Yaya, spell yachts?"
> Yaya: "Yor rayt, dey are boats."
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> 3. Woman carrying sick baby enters doctor's office.
> Doc: "Bottlefed?"
> Woman: " Breastfed po."
> (Doctors squeezes woman's breasts repeatedly)
> Doc: "Ayan ang problema, wala kang gatas, eh."
> Woman: "Yaya lang po ako doc! Yaya!"
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> 4. The eggs that yaya bought turned out to be rotten.
> She stormed back to the grocery and told the vendor:
> "Manong, ang baho ng itlog niyo!"
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> 5. My mom asked our yaya to buy Inquirer and Star.
> Our yaya came back and said: "Ma'am, wala pong Inquirer
> kaya bumili nalang po ako ng dalawang Star!"
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> 6. Yaya: "Huhuhu?"
> Ate: "O, bakit ka umiiyak?"
> Yaya: "Kasi ate ang dami kong pimples!"
> Ate: "Eh bakit ka ba tinitighiyawat? "
> Yaya: "Kasi po di ako makatulog sa gabi."
> Ate: "O, bakit ka di makatulog?"
> Yaya: "Kasi po may pinoproblema ako?"
> Ate: "Ano naman ang pinoproblema mo?"
> Yaya: "Kasi ate ang dami kong pimples!"
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> 7. (Earlier) Mom: "Yaya, lagay mo yung pesto sa ref!"
> (Later) Son: "Yaya, nakita mo PS2 ko?"
> Yaya: "Nasa ref, pinalagay ng mama mo!"
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> 8. Just now my maid burned a hole in my uniform.
> I angrily asked her, "Paano mo naman nasunog to?"
> She answered: "Secret!"
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> 9. After watching a movie, our yaya blurted out :
> "Ang pangit naman, happy ending!"
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> 10. Sir: "Yaya, gawa mo ko ng kape. Yung decaf ha!"
> Yaya: "Siyempre naman, alangan namang de-baso!"
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> 11. Mom: "Yaya, magluto ka na pag-alis ko ha!"
> Yaya: "Ano po lulutuin ko?"
> Mom: "It's up to you."
> (During dinner) Mom: "Yaya, bakit ketsup at tuyo ang ulam?"
> Yaya: "Diba nung tinanong ko kayo kung anong lulutuin ko,
> sabi niyo, 'kitsup tuyo'!"
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> 12. Our neighbor's yaya: "Junjun, chew your mouth!"
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> 13. Our yaya sa sari-sari store: "Miss isang Coke in can
> at isang Sprite na Coke in can?"
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> 14. SIR: "Inday, si sir mo to, nabangga kotse ko & I need cash!"
> INDAY: "Aru, dugo-dugo gang ka no?"
> SIR: "Gaga! Si sir mo talaga to!"
> INDAY: "Gago ka rin! Si sir ang tawag sa kin?kapkeyk? "
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> 15. I once asked my yaya where the Netherlands is located.
> She answered: "Diba dun nakatira si Peter Pan?"
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> 16. "O yaya, bakit ka umiiyak?"
> Yaya: "Ati, sabi kasi ng duktor, tatanggalan ako ng butlig!"
> Ate: "Eh yun lang pala eh! Bakit ka umiiyak?"
> Yaya: "Buti kung one lig lang, eh kung butlig, wala na kong ligs!"
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> 17. We saw our yaya staring intently at the orange juice bottle.
> Sabi namin: "Yaya, anong ginagawa mo?"
> Yaya: "Shhh! Nakalagay sa bote, 'concentrate' ?"
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> 18. Neighbor's yaya telling the dog to climb down the stairs:
> "Down to earth! Down to earth!"
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> 19. My mom was going to buy our yaya a transistor radio.
> Before my mom left the house, our yaya said,
> "Ma'am, ang kunin niyo yung Ilokano ang salita ha!"
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> 20. We paid for the tuition fee of our yaya's son.
> So one day I was reviewing him: "The Earth is the 3rd planet from
> the sun.
> Ano ang katabi ng Mercury?" His mom, our yaya, answered:
> "Parang Watson's yata?"
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> 21. Sir: "Yaya, natanggal mo yung mantsa sa barong ko?"
> Yaya: "Opo! Tanggal na tanggal!"
> Sir: "Good! Anong pinang-tanggal mo?"
> Yaya: "Gunting, kuya! Gunting!"
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> 22. Yaya to tricycle driver: "Magkano sa City Hall?"
> Driver: "Ikaw lang?" Yaya: "Ay bakit, hindi ka sasama?"
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> 23. (Si Kuya pumasok sa kuwarto ni Yaya)
> Kuya: "Yaya?"
> Yaya: "Koya, wag po! Wag Pooooo!"
> Kuya: "Gaga! Uutusan lang kita!"
> Yaya: "Si Koya naman?nagsa- suggest lang?"
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> 24. Kid: "Yaya, spell orange?"
> Yaya: "Depende. Yung kulay o yung prutas?"
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> 25. Midget Yaya who was newly hired:
> "Suwerte po kayo, ako ang napili niyo.
> At least kung maibagsak ko si baby, mababa lang!"
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> 26. Yaya to my brother: "Nag tothbrush ka na ng ipin?"
> Bro: "Siyempre, alangan namang mag toothbrush ako ng kilikili!"
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> 27. (after being scolded for breaking her promises):
> "Ma'am, hindi na po ako mangangako ulit?promise! "
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> 28. We had a yaya who claimed she was being courted by a kapre
> in her province and wanted to take her to his kingdom.
> Her reason for turning down the offer to be his queen?
> "Kapre yun ma'am, malaki ang kwan nun! Wag na uy!"
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> 29. AMO: "Bakit namatay ang aso?"
> MAID: "Pinaliguan ko po ng laundry soap."
> AMO: "Nakamamatay ba yun?"
> MAID: "Ewan ko nga po eh, pag-off ko ng washing machine patay na."
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> 30. Yaya picking up the phone saying: " Hilo ?"
> We noticed that she was holding the handset ng baligtad.
> We told her, "Yaya, baliktad!"
> Then Yaya said: "Lohi?"
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> 31. Amo: Yaya use COOLING PLACE in a sentence.
> Yaya: Sir! viry easy! iksample nagring yung phone,
> (ring, ring, ring,) Yaya answered, " HILO , WHO'S COOLING PLACE?"