Top 10 Reasons Why There Couldn't Be a Filipino-American US President

Top 10 Reasons Why There Couldn't Be a Filipino-American US President
By David Letterman

10. The White House is not big enough for in-laws and extended relatives.

9. There are not enough parking spaces at the White House for 2 Honda Civics, 2 Toyota Land Cruisers, 3 Toyota Corollas, a Mercedes Benz, a BMW , and an MPV (My Pinoy Van)

8. Dignitaries generally are intimidated by eating with their fingers at State dinners.

7. There are too many dining rooms in the White House - where will they put the picture of the Last Supper?

6. The White House walls are not big enough to hold a pair of giant wooden spoon and fork

5. Secret Service staff won't respond to 'psst... psst' or hoy.hoyhoy

4. Secret Service staff will not be comfortable driving the presidential car with a Holy Rosary hanging on the rear view mirror, or the statue of the Santo Nino on the dashboard.

3. No budget allocation to purchase a Karaoke music-machine for every room in the White House.

2. State dinners do not allow 'Take Home'.

AND THE NUMBER 1 REASON WHY THERE COULDN'T BE A FILIPINO-AMERICAN U.S. PRESIDENT IS...

1. Air Force One does not allow overweight Balikbayan boxes!

Good Topic, Bad Article

"A Treasure That the Philippines Must Have to Be Guided and Treasured Most"
by I.C.

MABUHAY. A Filipino term for "long live."

Despite of beauty, colors, and wealth of the Philippines, many of the Filipinos today could think that they can't feel these things (mostly our unfortunate brothers and sisters)... They will told you that they never think of what is patriotic or nationalistic... Instead, they will say "...we would so much to think our everyday needs for survival than of being patriotic..."

We cannot blame them... They never think of a Jose Rizal as they will think on a one peso coin much of him... They never think a Andres Bonifacio... A Francisco Balagtas... Or even can tell something about our rich history... This is not brought by ignorance... It is brought by poverty that took much of our society, centuries ago...

Even we, the learned Filipinos, the one who indulged to learn and be educated are unaware for the fact that we Filipinos have something to be proud of... We are so lucky to be send in schools and know about the land we are stepping right now... A country with millions of treasures, but are not buried under the soil... A treasure that we can hold on... And that is our very fare hope... and hope that we could see them to lead our nation in prosperity and greatness ones again... THE YOUTH.

Hope this message might mean for everybody... The Filipinos around the globe... teachers, soldiers, scholars, students, nurses, doctors, attorneys, and everybody... though a street vendor or a street sweeper... The nation of ours is great and we must turn the pages of our history in a way that the next generation will be proud of us and be benefited of what kind of new Filipinas will be a home for them...

Let the history's brave youth of our country serves as the model of our youth...

Tarik Soliman, the leader of the first ever Filipino battle with freedom as its cause... died at a very young age... a datu of Macabebe... dubbed as the bravest of the islands by the Spaniards and tagged as "the brave youth." And research shows that he was just 13 years of age when he fought and died in the famous Battle of Bangkusay...

Gen. Gregorio del Pilar... at a young age of 17, he joined the Katipunan... at the age of 19, he already experienced a bloody battle... at the age of 21, he became the first ever Filipino governor of Bulacan... and at the age of 22, he died for our country...

Emilio Jacinto... at the age of 19, he became one of the Katipunan's greatest leader... and at the age of 23, he died for our country...

Jose Rizal... the Philippine national hero... his undying and timeless works encircles the heart of every generation...

Hope that their memories may not fade...

Philippine Beauty Pageant Funny Q&A

Host : If you had a foreigner friend, where will you bring him to showcase
the beauty of the Philippines?
Girl Contestant : Bocaue.
Host : Bocaue. Why Bocaue? There are so many places in the Philippines? Why
Bocaue?
Girl : Because it's a magnificent place.
Host : Which part of Bocaue?
Girl : The Bocaue Rice Terraces.
_____

Host : What is your best feature?
Contestant : My graduation feature.
_____


Host : What is you favorite motto?
Contestant : If others can't, why can't I!
_____

Host : What would you like to say to foreigners?
Contestant : Please come back.
_____

Host : What is your typical day?
Contestant : I think Saturday po!
_____


Host : If you were to describe the color blue to a blind person, how would
you do it?'
Contestant : That's a very good question. Keep it up.
_____



Host : What is your edge over the other contestants?
Girl Contestant : My edge.... 23 years old.
_____

Host : What, in your opinion, is the ideal age for marriage?
Girl : Between 24 and 25!
_____

Host : How do you see yourself 10 years from now?
Girl : I'll be 28.
_____


Host : What is the biggest problem facing the youth today?
Girl : Drugs.
Host : Why?
Girl : Mahal eh!
_____

Host : What is the essence of being gay?
Contestant : I'm proud to be gay because what is naked is essential to the
eye!
_____

Host : What makes you blush?
Girl : Blush on!
_____

Host : What is the essence of a man?
Gay Contestant : Testicles!
_____

Host : Hey, I heard you almost didn't make it, how did you get here? Did you
ride or did you walk?
Gay Contestant : Of course, did you ride. What do you think of me, did you
walk???

When the Grass is Greener on the Other Side...

When grass seems greener in the other side of the fence...



you put sometimes your head too far to really prove it...

and when you realise that you went too far and it is difficult to go back down, please remember that...

Not everybody that appears around will help you!!!!!

Mindset

Hell: As explained by a Chemist

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid term.

The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well :

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

===========

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.

Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct..... .leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+

29 Funny Lines to Make You SMILE

1.... My husband and I divorced over religious differences.. He thought he was God and I didn't.
2.... I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
3.... Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
4.... I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
5.... Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.

6.... You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me
7.... Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
8.... Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
9.... I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are just missing.
10...Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

11... NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.
12... God must love stupid people; He made so many.
13... The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
14... Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
15... Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

16... Being 'over the hill' is much better than being under it!
17... Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.
18... Procrastinate Now!

19... I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?
20... A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
21... A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance..

22... Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!
23... They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
24... He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD.

25... A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.

26.. Ham and eggs...A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.
27.. The trouble with life is there's no background music.

28.. The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.
29 .. I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on.